Toilet Paper and Treachery: Family Friendly Stories About Good Clean Fun!

With a twenty-year difference, some things are vastly different...And some things are totally the same.

TPing was a Cady family past-time growing up. For ALL the children.

Read these short, fun stories about the Cady girls' toilet papering adventures growing up, and learn how they were vastly different, and how they were surprisingly similar from girl to girl.

Find out which girl was chased by a police K-9 dog, which girl liked to make it snow, and what happened when the TPing gods smiled down on the Cady home--sort of.

The Dogs are Barking Tonight

#Peggy

His feet crashed like thunderbolts as he ran down the stairs two at a time. Where was he headed? Towards me. I was in his room. It’s ok, I was supposed to be there. I was working for him,
shredding newspaper as thin as I could. Then again, he was working for me, so I guess we were working
together.

“I got it!” Chuck said with a huge grin, eyes dancing with mischief. “They aren’t going to know
what hit them! I’d like to see them top this one.” Chuck was tall with dark, curly hair he controlled by keeping it cut short. He tended to have a serious face, was quiet, and mostly enjoyed doing things with, of all people, his sisters. And this weekend he was all mine!

What did he get? Twenty-four rolls of toilet paper. Why was I shredding newspaper? Woo Hoo!
We were going TPing tonight!! This was no ordinary TP project. We were on a mission. My best friend, Jenny, was spending the night. Her boyfriend, Max, was spending the night at Jake’s house.

Jake was a great guy. He laughed easily, was fun to be with, and liked a challenge. This weekend
we were the challenge. Jake had heard about one of our TPing escapades and said he didn’t think we’d be able to TP his house without being caught. “Excu-u-use me?” I said with one eyebrow raised. “What is so special about your house?”

“Oh nothing. Except if I know you’re coming, I’ll be up looking to catch you.”

Being fifteen and ’all that,’ both Jenny and I responded, “I don’t think so! You could have all your
friends spending the night and we could probably hit you undetected.”

Game on.

A sinister grin spread across my face as I mentally shook myself and refocused on my task:
shredding newspaper by hand. The steady, monotonous sound of “Shwip. Shwip. Shwip,” floated out the bedroom door and into the family room. Continuous, never-ending, annoying, “Shwip. Shwip. Shwip.”

Jenny made paper punch holes. How do you do that? Exactly as you would expect; by taking a
hole puncher and punching holes in paper and extricating the holes from the compartment beneath. It was a monotonous job, but we were on a mission and that mission included shredding as much newspaper and making as many hole punches as we could in sixty minutes.

That was all the time we got before we had to move to the next task. We had a schedule and we had an agenda. We knew exactly what we were doing and the precise time allotted to each segment of our onslaught in order to travel, traumatize, and retreat. Shred newspaper, punch holes, string toilet paper, fork the grass, soap the car windows, and if we had time, eat a package of Oreos and leave the empty container on the steps before retreating into the darkness undetected.

Cruel you say? Yes. We gave cruel a new meaning.

The pitter-patter of tiny feet ebbed and the whining of tired babies quieted. Excitement hung in the air. Soon I heard the quiet drone of news and knew that the younger ones followed tradition and fell asleep watching TV. This was confirmed with one quick peek beyond the door frame. Small bodies in varying levels of dress lay sprawled across the couch and floor with eyes closed, trying to mimic the sound of Mom coming through the heat vents.

Wow! Could she snore! Put her and Dad together and it’s a wonder the roof was still on the
house.

Heavy footsteps came down the stairs. Dad was coming to check in before going to bed.

Jenny froze, her eyes widening slightly. “Oh crap! Your dad is coming. What’s he going to do?”
I snorted. “Nothing. He loves this stuff. As long as he knows where we are going and what we are doing, he’ll be fine.” That was one of the cool things about Dad. During the summer, as long as we got our chores done, followed the most important rules, and were ready on time for church Sunday morning, we had the freedom to do mostly what we wanted.

“OK,” Jenny said hesitantly as she put her head down and started furiously punching holes to
avoid eye contact with Dad as his huge frame filled the doorway.

“What are you troublemakers up to?” he asked with mock seriousness.

“Shredding newspaper,” I said nonchalantly.

“I can see that,” he grumped. “And why might you be shredding newspaper at...11:45 at night?”

“Well,” I slowly started and then dove into my explanation. “Max is spending the night at Jake’s
house tonight and Jake said that there’s no way that we could TP his house without them knowing about it and we couldn’t let that challenge go unanswered, so not only are we going to TP his house, we are going to fork it, soap the cars, and spread newspaper and hole punches all over the grass. It will be the
best hit EVER! And Chuck said he would drive.”

“Hmm,” Dad said after a brief moment. He looked at Jenny who was furiously trying to be
invisible and asked, “Do your folks know about this?”

Grab your copy of Toilet Paper and Treachery to find out what happens next!